Confessions of a Recovering Lone Ranger

I stand before you a recovering lone ranger. Yes, I’m confessing.

If you started your own business, you probably have an element of lone ranger in you, too. That inner belief – the willingness to go it alone – is what it takes to get your business off the ground.

But (and you knew there was a “but,” right?) that lone ranger attitude doesn’t support you in moving to new levels with your business. In fact, it can get in the way.

Are you a Lone Ranger?

If you suspect you might be a lone ranger, here are some questions to help you find out:

  • Do you ask others for help?
  • Are you open to accepting help from others?
  • Do you think if you don’t do it yourself, it won’t be done right, or at all?
  • Are you able to listen to the concerns of others?
  • Are you a member of a team, or a community of support/common interests?

If you can’t answer, “yes,” to all of these questions, there is a chance that there is a little bit of lone ranger still lingering in you.

Your Willingness to Accept Support

Fortunately, you can recover from Lone Ranger-itis – because one of THE most important leadership qualities you can possess as an entrepreneur is your willingness to accept support.

Here are some tips you can use to do so:

  • Change your mantra. Lone rangers say, “If it’s going to be, it’s up to me.” You must change you mantra to, “If I’ve got a big dream, then I need a team.” You see, in the early stages of your business, the lone ranger attitude is great! That go-it-alone attitude is just what you need to get things off the ground. But as your business grows, not only does that attitude not serve you, but it can prevent you from delegating, getting support, and handing things over that aren’t in your zone of genius.
  • Blast away lone ranger lies!
  • Lie #1: “I should be able to do this.” This thought can keep you stuck. In fact, this lie stopped me from moving forward in my business for several years! With my background in selling and marketing, I was reluctant to ask for help in this area. Once I got out of my own way and let go of that arrogance, I hired a mentor. I tripled my revenues in the first year working with that mentor! Instead of saying, “I should be doing this,” ask instead, “Who else could help me with this?”
  • Lie #2: “I can do it myself.” Yes, you might be able to do it yourself, but just because you can doesn’t mean you should! Ask yourself: “Is this the highest and best use of my time?” If it’s not in the zone of your genius, you really want to hand it over.
  • Lie #3: “No one else can do this as well as me.” You might be right. If we’re talking about tasks in your zone of genius, you might be right. But my guess is there are lots of things taking up your time, energy and attention, but you’re not the best person to do it. Let me share with you how I determine whether I am supposed to do something. I always say, “If God wants me to do it, he’ll make sure I’m really good at it, or I love to do it.” So how can you tell if you’re in your genius zone? When you’re doing something you do so well, you’re energized by it, you love doing it, you can’t believe you get paid to do it … and it comes easily to you, then you are in your genius zone.

Let’s translate this into action!

Think back over the past couple of days. When were you operating in your genius zone and when were you doing stuff you’re competent at, but it’s not in your genius zone?

Make a list. (No, really! Write it down.)

When help shows up – and it will – you know exactly what you’re going to hand over.

Next, I want to share an affirmation that really helped me to accept more support and help in my business. I got it from Abraham Hicks.

“At your soonest convenience, please show me who I am going to hand this over to.”

You’ve probably heard the phrase, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”

I like to say, “When the receiver is ready, the helper appears.”

Become receptive to receiving support. You’ll know when you get more receptive because, trust me, the support is going to show up.

Learn to be supported

Learning to be supported is a skill anyone can learn. Trust me: I have all my lone ranger credentials. But I have learned to accept support. And you can, too!

Finally, spend some time noticing all the places in life where you are already supported. You are supported in so many invisible ways! Take a moment to think about how many people have to show up at work on time for you to be able to fly safely when you’re going on a flight.

You know how they say that what you focus on expands? Well, think about all the ways in which you are supported, and you allow yourself to receive more support.

I’d love to hear from you: Are you a recovering lone ranger? Are you entrenched in the lone ranger mindset? Is it difficult to ask for help?

Join The Conversation – Confessions of a recovering Lone Ranger – below:

Continue the conversation in the comments below!

[spoiler]Today on Bernadette TV, Confessions of a Recovering Lone Ranger.[Music]

Hello and welcome to Bernadette TV, online TV to help you be the best you can be in your business and your life. And today, I am fessing up because I stand before you as a recovering Lone Ranger. You know, I think anyone who starts her own business has an element of Lone Ranger in them because that determination, that inner belief, even that willingness to go alone is just what it takes to get a business off the ground. But the trouble is as you’re growing your business, that Lone Ranger attitude that got you started in the first place, not only does it not support you in moving to new levels in your business, it can actually even get in the way. So if you’re curious about whether or not you’re a Lone Ranger, here are a few questions for you to help you find out. Do you ask others for help? Are you open to accepting help from others? Do you think if you don’t do it yourself that it won’t be done right or at all? Are you able to listen to the concerns of others? Are you a member of a team or of a community of support or common interest?

If you can’t say yes to all of these questions, then there’s a chance that there’s a little Lone Ranger still lingering in you. So here are some tips and advice on how you can recover from your Lone Rangeritis. Number one, change your mantra. Lone Rangers say, “If it’s going to be, it’s up to me.” And, you know, in the early stages of business, that’s great. That can actually be that go it alone attitude that’s just what you need to get things off the ground. But in the later stages of business, not only does that not serve you, it can actually be a problem in itself, preventing you from delegating, from getting the right support, and from handing over the things that aren’t your zone of genius. So I want you to change your mantra. Instead of saying, “If it’s going to be, it’s up to me,” you have a new mantra. “If you’ve got a dream, then you need a team.” Next, let’s look at some Lone Ranger lies. Lone Ranger lie number one, I should be able to do this. You know, this thought can really keep you stuck.

And hands up, because I told you this is confessions of a recovering Lone Ranger, this is one of the things that really stopped me moving forward in business for several years. You see, with my background in selling and marketing, I was really reluctant to ask for help in this area. And so I used to find myself over and over saying, “Well, I should be able to do this.” It wasn’t until I got out of my own way and let go of that arrogance and hired a mentor that things really took off. And, you know, the first year that I worked with a mentor, I tripled my revenues. So instead of saying to yourself, “I should be able to do this,” ask yourself instead, “Who else could help me with this?” Lone Ranger lie number two, I can do it myself. Well, yes, you might be able to do it yourself. But, you know, just because you can doesn’t mean you should. You really need to ask yourself whenever you’re doing any task, particularly business task, is this the highest and best use of your time. And if it’s not something that’s in your zone of genius, you really want to hand it over.

Lie number three. “No one else can do this as well as me.” Well, you know, in some instances, you may be right. In fact, if you’re operating out of your zone of genius, and by that, I mean, the area where you’re so naturally gifted that you do things almost like without effort and you do it so well, then you could be right-no one else can do it as well as you. But my guess is there’s lots of things that are taking up your time and energy and attention that you’re not necessarily the best person to do it. Let me let you in on a little secret of how I determine whether I’m supposed to do something. I always say, “If God wants me to do this, He’ll either make me really good at it or He’ll make sure that I love doing it.” So let’s take ironing, for example. I neither love ironing and nor am I good at doing it. So that’s how I know that God doesn’t want me to iron.

How can you tell if you’re in your genius zone? Well, it’s something that you do so well that you’re energized by it. You love doing it. You can’t believe you get paid to do it and it’s an area that comes really easy for you. In fact, you might be surprised that other people can’t do this. That’s how you know you’re in your genius zone. Okay, so let’s translate this into action. The first thing I want you to do, think back over the last couple of days and start to think about when were you operating in your genius zone and when were you doing things that possibly you’re competent at but you’re not the best person to do. I want you to start making a list because even if you don’t have anyone around you that you can delegate this to right now, you want to make that list so that when help shows up, and it will, that you have a list ready to go. You know exactly what you’re going to hand over.

Next, I want to give you an affirmation. It really helped me when I was moving into starting to get more support and help in my business. And this is one that I got from Abraham Hicks, and it’s this phrase. “At your soonest convenience, please show me who I am to turn this over to.” You know that sentence, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears”? Well, I actually have a different take on that. I think that when the receiver is ready, the support appears. So instead of trying to figure out who you’re going to delegate this to, your job is to start to become more receptive to receiving support. And you’ll know when you’re getting more receptive because, trust me, the support is going to show up. My final message to you is that learning to be supported is a skill that anyone can learn. Trust me, I have all my Lone Ranger credentials, big and bold, and yet I have learned to do this. I’m still learning it, and I want to share with you something that really helped me. So the thing to do is to start to notice all of the places in your life where you are already supported.

And even if you feel unsupported right now, trust me, you’re supported in so many invisible ways. For example, the next time you go on a flight, you just stop and take a moment to think about how many people had to show up from work on time for you to be able to fly safely. It’ll just blow your mind. But I started looking out for where I was being supported in little everyday ways. So, for example, when I was lying in my bed at night, I would notice that I was being supported by the mattress and how the mattress was being supported by the bed, and how the bed was being supported by the floor that was being supported by the walls of my house that was being supported by the foundations and on and on and on and on. So as you start to notice where you’re being supported, you know the old saying, “What you focus on expands”? You’ll start to not only notice more and more how you’re being supported, but you’ll allow yourself to receive more support.

So I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. What about you? Are you a recovering Lone Ranger, too? Or maybe you still are, you know, very much entrenched in being a Lone Ranger, and, you know, you’re finding it difficult to ask for help. Whatever your thoughts, I’d love to hear them. Leave a comment below this video or come on over to my blog, bernadettedoyle.com, and we can continue the conversation there. And while you’re there, if you would like to receive more email updates and more confession-like tales like this, I’ve got so much to share with you. Make sure to sign up for my email list. So that’s it for me, and I look forward to seeing you on the next episode of Bernadette TV. Now, how can you tell if you’re in your genius Joan? Genius Joan. Genius Joan. She sounds like a Genius Joan, new superhero. Genius Joan. I’d like to meet Genius Joan. How can you tell if you’re in your. . .Genius Joan. How can you tell if you’re in your [zaniest zone]? Zany Joan. Who’s Joan? Lone Ranger. Even the Lone Ranger had tonto!.[/spoiler]

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